Christmas was usually quiet for Carol and her husband, Mick. His health had been bad for a few years, but they would make a Christmas dinner and buy a few luxuries. Mick died on 1st December 2020. Carol's first Christmas without him felt 'blank'.
"Mick was supported by Garden House Hospice Care which was wonderful," recalls Carol. "But the following weeks were manic, confusing and horrible. I don't have any family, I'm an only child and my closest friends have all died. I spent Christmas alone."
Carol and Mick
The statistics about loneliness in our community tell a sad story. In North Hertfordshire alone, 15,589 people are severely isolated, meaning they feel lonely often or always. At Christmas it can be especially devastating - these people will have nobody to see or speak to while the rest of us are seemingly busy and having fun.
"I know exactly how they feel," Carol continues. "When you’re alone, you lose your personality because there is nobody there to share your personality with. I felt like I was losing myself, floating around in an abyss."
Our Compassionate Neighbours service and Wellbeing Hubs offer a lifeline for people like Carol, giving them company and a sense of community and allowing them to build supportive friendships. Research shows that the scheme has a positive effect on lives and is really helping people to feel less alone.
"My Compassionate Neighbour Jeanne picks me up once a week and we go shopping together - she has for a few years now. She is so good to me and I don’t know what I would have done without her. Our first Christmas after we met, she welcomed me into her home to spend the day with her family - her husband, children and her granddaughter. It was so lovely simply to be with someone!"
Carol and her Compassionate Neighbour, Jeanne
"I've also started attending one of the new Wellbeing Hubs and for the last two years attended the Compassionate Neighbours Christmas party. I made an effort getting ready and put on my Christmas jumper - it feels good to get a bit dressed up when normally you lounge around in your baggies! I was collected in a minibus and taken to the venue, which was festively decorated and filled with large tables. We had a delicious meal, played games and had lots of chat. It makes such a difference."
Carol at a Wellbeing Hub Christmas party
Thanks to Compassionate Neighbours, Carol is no longer lonely at Christmas. She has been reconnected back into the community, has someone to call a friend and has somewhere to go each week. As well as Christmas Day, we have helped make the other 364 days more bearable, worth living, brighter too.
